I've known my entire life (or at least for as long as I can remember) that God is the " Great I Am". He is everything that we need him to be, when we need him to be. He never changes. Today, my dad sent me this from Joseph Prince ministries, and it spoke to me. Read it and I know you will too receive from it:
"Whatever your challenge is today, whether it is physical, emotional, financial or marital, the great I Am declares to you: “I am to you what you need Me to be.”
Do you need healing? He says, “I am the Lord who heals you. (Exodus 15:26) And as you believe Me, you will see your healing manifest thirtyfold, sixtyfold and a hundredfold.”
Are you groping in the dark, not knowing what to do? He says, “I am the light of the world. (John 8:12) When you walk in Me, you will not walk in darkness, but will have the light of life.”
Are you looking for a way out of a bad situation? He says, “I am your deliverer. I will reach down from on high, take hold of your hand and draw you out of the deep waters.” (Psalm 18:2, 16)
Are you wondering if there is more to life than merely existing from day to day? He says, “I am the resurrection and the life. (John 11:25) I came to give you life. And where there is life, there cannot be death. You will have life and life more abundantly.” (John 10:10)
Are you fearful of what is ahead of you? He says, “I am the good shepherd (John 10:11), who leads you to pastures of tender, green grass and waters of rest. You will not suffer lack.” (Psalm 23:1–3)
Are you confused by the opinions and reports of man? He says, “I am the Alpha and the Omega, the First and the Last. (Revelation 1:11) I have the final word in your life. The doctors do not have the final word. The experts do not have the final word. I have the first word and the last word in your situation.”
My friend, do not be fearful of the problems you face. The great I Am declares to you, “Fear not! For I am to you what you need Me to be!”
Wednesday, April 4, 2012
Monday, April 2, 2012
More Chemo??!!??
Ok, let me try and relay this information as clearly as I can. Yes, I'm getting more chemotherapy. No, the doctors don't believe that there is any cancer left. So, why more chemo? That is the question that we had to patiently seek out an answer to last week. I'm still not entirely sure I can even clearly articulate exactly why I'm here again but I will do my best.
For starters, I will try to explain what is going on with the mass in my abdomen. On my last post, I wrote about how the large tumor (12+ cm) that I had to begin with had shrunk to 2cm and that they were recommending a surgery to remove it even though there were no obvious signs of cancer. Actually, up until last Thursday that was still the same information that anyone of us had been told. On Thursday, March 29th, I met with the urologist that would be a part of the surgery so he could discuss what the surgery would entail. However, when Catherine and I arrived we received some rather surprising news.
We learned that the mass in my abdomen was not 2 cm, but actually around 4.5 cm. I know, huh? Shocking news right?!? This was the first shock. Yes, there's more. The urologist then went on to say that he was actually recommending one more cycle of chemotherapy before he would recommend the surgery.
Now, I will try to decipher the conundrum that we were faced with when we learned this news last week.
Basically, we learned that nothing had really changed. We were able to meet with a counselor who was a great mediator and communicator that did a really great job of describing to us the different vantage points of urology and oncology, and how different their reports can be. In a nutshell, it boils down to what each department is looking for. Let me explain. Hopefully I can do as well as the guy we met with.
Oncology (cancer doctor) is very specific at what they look for in a scan. They will see a mass and then try to look closer and determine points within the mass that might contain specific types of tissue. The urologist is the surgeon that would remove the mass. He simply looks at the big picture. He analyzes the scan and looks for things that shouldn't be there. He sees a mass and knows that he will have to remove the entirety of the mass, regardless of what type of tissue it contains.
So, my oncologist sees the 4.5+ cm mass but focuses on a 2 cm portion of the mass that he is worried about. There was 2 cm of something that he saw within the mass that he suspected to be tissue to be concerned about. There are still no signs of cancer. The tumor markers are 0. There is not a high mitosis rate (which would indicate cancer because it replicates and spreads at a high rate). The oncologist believes that the majority of the mass is scar tissue, all but about 2 cm of the mass. The 2 cm could be a couple of different types of tissue. Both are non cancerous. One of the types of tissue it could be is something I described in my last post: teratoma.
Teratoma, in my understanding, is actually a little more frightening than cancer in the sense of its predictability. There is none. It is benign, however will become malignant at some point. The point in time in which malignancy occurs is completely unpredictable and undetectable. Teratoma produces no tumor markers in the blood. It doesn't digest sugar at any rate comparable to cancer cells therefore can't be detected in PET scans. Quite literally, it goes from a simple non cancerous mass to a cancerous mass that is untreatable by chemotherapy or radiation at the drop of a hat. I don't understand how that can happen but I suppose if I did then I would probably not be here typing on this blog.
So, this is the type of tissue that both oncology and urology is worried about. I have a 4.5 cm mass in my abdomen. Both doctors believe that there is more than likely more scar tissue than anything because of the fact that is began as a large 12.5-14 cm mass. However, there is a possibility that there could be some teratoma (more than likely within the 2cm portion of the mass). The only way of knowing what is in the mass is actually taking the mass out and testing it, thus the surgery.
Why more chemo? That's a valid question. It's one that I don't completely understand. I'll do my best to tell you what I know.
The surgery, no matter when it might happen, would be an intense surgery. About 5 hours and at least two surgeons worth of intensity. Why so intense? It all has to do with the location of the mass. It is located behind my intestines between my spine and aorta. So, if you can imagine something fairly large lodged between your spine and your aorta and you can clearly see why I was in such immense pain in the beginning of this process. Anyways, there is no easy way to get to that location. They would have to perform what is known as a zipper surgery and I would receive a huge battle scar from it. It would consist of them cutting me open from the bottom of my sternum to the top of my pelvic bone, then taking out my intestines and laying them on top of my chest. This is just to get to where the mass is. Then, they would have to cut the mass out and while I was still under anesthesia they would slice it into pieces to run pathology reports on it.
This is where the different types of tissue comes into play. They would run the pathology reports and look at what the mass contains. If there was no reports of a certain type of tissue then they would put me all back together and I would be good to go. However, if they found some they would go back in and remove all the lymphatic tissue in my lower abdomen, on both sides.
To make a longer story somewhat shorter, this is why the surgeon recommended yet another round of chemotherapy. Both doctors are believing that I'll still have to have this surgery. The surgeon simply wanted me to go through another cycle for two reasons. The main reason was that it would lessen the chance of having to remove all of the lymphatic tissue in my abdomen. I'll explain why briefly.
The mass in on the left side of my body. The same side that the initial surgery I had to remove the cancerous testicle. Because of the location of the mass, there will be nerve damage to the autonomic nervous system. This is the part of our bodies that controls all of the functions of our body that we don't think about. More specifically, it controls all of the reproductive functions. Because of the fact that there isn't anything south of the mass on the left side (if you know what I mean), the surgeon isn't worried about damaging the nerves on that side. However, if they have to go back in and remove the lymphatic tissue on both sides it would damage the nerves on my right side (the good side) and yield infertility.
That's the major concern. The surgeon wants to increase the chance of the mass not containing the tissue that would require them to go in and remove all of the lymphatic tissue in my abdomen. Also, he simply wants to shrink the mass as much as possible. This would further define the mass and thus give him more confidence in removing all of it successfully.
Also, there is the initial size of the mass to begin with. We learned that about 95% of patients with this type of testicular cancer only have masses up to about 3 - 4 cm in size. The nature of this cancer usually produces smaller tumors that spread very rapidly through the body and into other major organs. So, for a mass to grow to a size of well over 12 cm is extremely rare for this type of cancer.
My initial treatment schedule (4 cycles) is the typical treatment schedule for advanced testicular cancer. However, I'm not the typical testicular cancer patient seeing as how the tumor I had was 3 to 4 times the size of what most patients have. With this in mind, it is only logical to assume that the normal amount of treatments wouldn't be enough.
Alright, I think that about explains why I am here. I know, it's a long confusing story and I am sure you are about as clear as mud as to why I'm back receiving chemotherapy. That is about as clear as I am, in my own understanding that is.
I'll tell you why I BELIEVE I'm back getting more chemo. Catherine and I, along with our families were basically decided on the fact that I was going to have the surgery. It was the doctors recommendation and although it was going to be a long, intense surgery we decided it was probably the best thing to do.
I believe that I'm back getting chemotherapy to allow God more time to operate my healing. This cycle of chemo will end on April 16th. At that point, we will wait four weeks and then have another scan (May 14th). That gives us about 6 weeks from today to pray. I will tell you EXACTLY what to pray for. I need this mass to be gone. Right now. I believe that God has already begun a great work and will complete it. The doctors don't even think that this cycle of chemo will do much. And it may not. BUT MY GOD IS GREATER THAN CHEMOTHERAPY. I believe that we will get to the scan in 6 weeks and there will be no mass, only a small memory of where it once was. I'm believing that the doctors will have no explanation of why there is no mass. There will only be one explanation: God is my healer, Jehovah Rapha, the great physician, as described in Exodus 15.
Agree with me, and my family. We believe that there will be no need for a surgery and that this round of chemo is simply evidence of God stepping in and giving us a little bit more time to unleash the power of prayer. So please, be apart of a miracle and spread this blog. There is power in prayer and power in numbers. Get on facebook, twitter, email, the phone, whatever. Spread the word. Commit to spending time in the next 6 weeks to continue a directed effort straight to this "mass" in my abdomen. I see it as gone. I see myself as complete, whole, and lacking nothing that would keep me from a clean bill of health.
And, as usual, in these weeks of chemo pray that the chemo would only affect the mass and nothing else in my body. Pray that there would be no temporary or long-term side effects resulting from more chemotherapy. Above all else, pray that the name of Jesus would be magnified and glorified through all of this.
-Kirby
For starters, I will try to explain what is going on with the mass in my abdomen. On my last post, I wrote about how the large tumor (12+ cm) that I had to begin with had shrunk to 2cm and that they were recommending a surgery to remove it even though there were no obvious signs of cancer. Actually, up until last Thursday that was still the same information that anyone of us had been told. On Thursday, March 29th, I met with the urologist that would be a part of the surgery so he could discuss what the surgery would entail. However, when Catherine and I arrived we received some rather surprising news.
We learned that the mass in my abdomen was not 2 cm, but actually around 4.5 cm. I know, huh? Shocking news right?!? This was the first shock. Yes, there's more. The urologist then went on to say that he was actually recommending one more cycle of chemotherapy before he would recommend the surgery.
Now, I will try to decipher the conundrum that we were faced with when we learned this news last week.
Basically, we learned that nothing had really changed. We were able to meet with a counselor who was a great mediator and communicator that did a really great job of describing to us the different vantage points of urology and oncology, and how different their reports can be. In a nutshell, it boils down to what each department is looking for. Let me explain. Hopefully I can do as well as the guy we met with.
Oncology (cancer doctor) is very specific at what they look for in a scan. They will see a mass and then try to look closer and determine points within the mass that might contain specific types of tissue. The urologist is the surgeon that would remove the mass. He simply looks at the big picture. He analyzes the scan and looks for things that shouldn't be there. He sees a mass and knows that he will have to remove the entirety of the mass, regardless of what type of tissue it contains.
So, my oncologist sees the 4.5+ cm mass but focuses on a 2 cm portion of the mass that he is worried about. There was 2 cm of something that he saw within the mass that he suspected to be tissue to be concerned about. There are still no signs of cancer. The tumor markers are 0. There is not a high mitosis rate (which would indicate cancer because it replicates and spreads at a high rate). The oncologist believes that the majority of the mass is scar tissue, all but about 2 cm of the mass. The 2 cm could be a couple of different types of tissue. Both are non cancerous. One of the types of tissue it could be is something I described in my last post: teratoma.
Teratoma, in my understanding, is actually a little more frightening than cancer in the sense of its predictability. There is none. It is benign, however will become malignant at some point. The point in time in which malignancy occurs is completely unpredictable and undetectable. Teratoma produces no tumor markers in the blood. It doesn't digest sugar at any rate comparable to cancer cells therefore can't be detected in PET scans. Quite literally, it goes from a simple non cancerous mass to a cancerous mass that is untreatable by chemotherapy or radiation at the drop of a hat. I don't understand how that can happen but I suppose if I did then I would probably not be here typing on this blog.
So, this is the type of tissue that both oncology and urology is worried about. I have a 4.5 cm mass in my abdomen. Both doctors believe that there is more than likely more scar tissue than anything because of the fact that is began as a large 12.5-14 cm mass. However, there is a possibility that there could be some teratoma (more than likely within the 2cm portion of the mass). The only way of knowing what is in the mass is actually taking the mass out and testing it, thus the surgery.
Why more chemo? That's a valid question. It's one that I don't completely understand. I'll do my best to tell you what I know.
The surgery, no matter when it might happen, would be an intense surgery. About 5 hours and at least two surgeons worth of intensity. Why so intense? It all has to do with the location of the mass. It is located behind my intestines between my spine and aorta. So, if you can imagine something fairly large lodged between your spine and your aorta and you can clearly see why I was in such immense pain in the beginning of this process. Anyways, there is no easy way to get to that location. They would have to perform what is known as a zipper surgery and I would receive a huge battle scar from it. It would consist of them cutting me open from the bottom of my sternum to the top of my pelvic bone, then taking out my intestines and laying them on top of my chest. This is just to get to where the mass is. Then, they would have to cut the mass out and while I was still under anesthesia they would slice it into pieces to run pathology reports on it.
This is where the different types of tissue comes into play. They would run the pathology reports and look at what the mass contains. If there was no reports of a certain type of tissue then they would put me all back together and I would be good to go. However, if they found some they would go back in and remove all the lymphatic tissue in my lower abdomen, on both sides.
To make a longer story somewhat shorter, this is why the surgeon recommended yet another round of chemotherapy. Both doctors are believing that I'll still have to have this surgery. The surgeon simply wanted me to go through another cycle for two reasons. The main reason was that it would lessen the chance of having to remove all of the lymphatic tissue in my abdomen. I'll explain why briefly.
The mass in on the left side of my body. The same side that the initial surgery I had to remove the cancerous testicle. Because of the location of the mass, there will be nerve damage to the autonomic nervous system. This is the part of our bodies that controls all of the functions of our body that we don't think about. More specifically, it controls all of the reproductive functions. Because of the fact that there isn't anything south of the mass on the left side (if you know what I mean), the surgeon isn't worried about damaging the nerves on that side. However, if they have to go back in and remove the lymphatic tissue on both sides it would damage the nerves on my right side (the good side) and yield infertility.
That's the major concern. The surgeon wants to increase the chance of the mass not containing the tissue that would require them to go in and remove all of the lymphatic tissue in my abdomen. Also, he simply wants to shrink the mass as much as possible. This would further define the mass and thus give him more confidence in removing all of it successfully.
Also, there is the initial size of the mass to begin with. We learned that about 95% of patients with this type of testicular cancer only have masses up to about 3 - 4 cm in size. The nature of this cancer usually produces smaller tumors that spread very rapidly through the body and into other major organs. So, for a mass to grow to a size of well over 12 cm is extremely rare for this type of cancer.
My initial treatment schedule (4 cycles) is the typical treatment schedule for advanced testicular cancer. However, I'm not the typical testicular cancer patient seeing as how the tumor I had was 3 to 4 times the size of what most patients have. With this in mind, it is only logical to assume that the normal amount of treatments wouldn't be enough.
Alright, I think that about explains why I am here. I know, it's a long confusing story and I am sure you are about as clear as mud as to why I'm back receiving chemotherapy. That is about as clear as I am, in my own understanding that is.
I'll tell you why I BELIEVE I'm back getting more chemo. Catherine and I, along with our families were basically decided on the fact that I was going to have the surgery. It was the doctors recommendation and although it was going to be a long, intense surgery we decided it was probably the best thing to do.
I believe that I'm back getting chemotherapy to allow God more time to operate my healing. This cycle of chemo will end on April 16th. At that point, we will wait four weeks and then have another scan (May 14th). That gives us about 6 weeks from today to pray. I will tell you EXACTLY what to pray for. I need this mass to be gone. Right now. I believe that God has already begun a great work and will complete it. The doctors don't even think that this cycle of chemo will do much. And it may not. BUT MY GOD IS GREATER THAN CHEMOTHERAPY. I believe that we will get to the scan in 6 weeks and there will be no mass, only a small memory of where it once was. I'm believing that the doctors will have no explanation of why there is no mass. There will only be one explanation: God is my healer, Jehovah Rapha, the great physician, as described in Exodus 15.
Agree with me, and my family. We believe that there will be no need for a surgery and that this round of chemo is simply evidence of God stepping in and giving us a little bit more time to unleash the power of prayer. So please, be apart of a miracle and spread this blog. There is power in prayer and power in numbers. Get on facebook, twitter, email, the phone, whatever. Spread the word. Commit to spending time in the next 6 weeks to continue a directed effort straight to this "mass" in my abdomen. I see it as gone. I see myself as complete, whole, and lacking nothing that would keep me from a clean bill of health.
And, as usual, in these weeks of chemo pray that the chemo would only affect the mass and nothing else in my body. Pray that there would be no temporary or long-term side effects resulting from more chemotherapy. Above all else, pray that the name of Jesus would be magnified and glorified through all of this.
-Kirby
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)