Coming Across the Line...

Back to the race. Today I am doing the last treatment of cycle two. In the race comparison, I'm on the last few meters of lap two and about to cross the start/finish line for lap three. The start of lap three begins on January 3.

Things are going well. Catherine and I were able to travel to visit my parents for Christmas which was great. I think more than anything, it was great to just get away.

Emotionally it was a little tough this Christmas because my grandmother passed away on the 22nd. I know it sounds strange to say, but it was almost relieving for us to see her go. Now before you jump to conclusions as to why, hear me out. My grandmother was an amazing woman and I loved her dearly, but it was tough to watch her the past few years. She had been in and out of the hospital and nursing home. She really had been in a lot of pain and a lot of suffering for a long time. Really she was ready to go home about three years ago. She lived a tough life. She outlived two husbands and two children and she was only 82.

So, as hard as it was to see her go, I know that all of our family is now rejoicing with her that she is finally home. She is where she really wanted to be for Christmas.

Now that I think about it, this fall/winter has been what most would consider pretty terrible. Not only did I get diagnosed with cancer but my grandmother, who lived with our family since I was in second grade, passed away. But I'm still at peace. I still have joy in my life. I still have more things to be grateful for than I do to be grieved.
Even in the hardest times. Even in the darkest times, God's abundance is supplied to and for us.

I think one of the most important lessons I've learned in life is that many times we have to stop asking the question "why?". We live in a world in which bad stuff happens. We spend so much time asking why and then trying to figure out why it did. We judge people. We judge ourselves. We take on guilt and shame. All of this just adds to more to whatever "bad" thing happened.

I got cancer. I don't know why. I don't know how. I can't change the fact that it happened. All I can do is make the best of the situation by trusting in the truth of God's word. The facts of life can be terrible sometimes, but His truth remains the same. I am more than a conquerer. I am an overcomer. I am healed. All because of what Jesus accomplished through the cross. Even when my circumstances are nowhere near looking like it, it doesn't change the truth.