I started this blog to keep people updated on how I'm doing.
Physically I'm really doing well right now. I'm not sure if I wrote earlier about all the weight I had lost, but it was about 20 pounds. For those of you who know me, you realize that I didn't have 20 pounds to loose. Well, the past two days I've weighed in at 155 pounds. That's 13 pounds up and the weight at which I was when I was competing in my career at Wayland.
More than that, my face no longer looks like a skull which is a good thing.
As great as things are going, there are still days like today when emotionally its just plain tough. It's most definitely easier to maintain a positive attitude being able to be treated outpatient rather than being admitted to the hospital, but this morning was hard for me for some reason.
I'm not sure why today was hard to get motivated but it was. I'll be honest and say that when I woke up this morning I just wanted everything to be over. I wanted the port catheter hanging from my chest to be out. I wanted to just go on a cold morning run (my favorite) then take a hot shower and get ready for work. I wanted to look in the mirror and see my long blonde wavy hair again. But I didn't.
Now, I'm back in my chair in the cancer center...all hooked up and ready to go. I prayed the whole way up here. I had to. I made sure to establish my heart in peace for the day. I had to. It's this peace that I can't afford to lose. It's this peace, His peace, in my heart that is the proof of my victory.
It is a peace that truly surpasses understanding. A peace that comes from a revelation of who God is in me, and who I am in Him. It is a peace that is that guards me. A peace that guides me. It is a peace that leads me to a place of victory even in the midst of seeming defeat.
It is a peace that gets me through, even on days like today.
I encourage you today to make sure you find this peace. Wherever you are, whatever you're going through, establish your heart with the peace of God. It sure beats worry, fear, and simple don't-want-to's!
Peace!
-Kirby
Thanks Kirby....I needed to hear every word you said & feel that lump in my throat while I was reading your very thoughts.....God Bless You.
ReplyDeleteWhat an ENCOURAGEMENT!! Thank you so much for sharing...you are a wonderful child of our father, and I know your attitude is making him proud! :) Love and blessings to you!
ReplyDeleteI know in my heart I was meant to read this today. I woke up with an unsettled spirit and needed to reestablish my peace in him just as you did. Thank you for your words Kirby, always in my prayers and God Bless you.
ReplyDeleteKirby - trying to write this as the tears stream down my face! How dare you minister to me! when you need the ministering!! :) I have been reading your blog and passing it along. Kirby God is using this blog for His glory because it really speaks to so many. Bill and I join with you in prayer for your complete recovery and I can already see that as you step into complete victory - that your test WILL and already has become your testimony. The word for today PEACE. Now if I can just grab on to it as hard as you have ..... This blog was answer to prayer Kirby. Thank you. Love you much! Dot
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