This is one word that adequately describes what I've been wanting to attain. To feel normal. To do the things I normally do. To be who I normally am.
Well, this week has been a good step in that direction so far. Sunday I was able to go to church. Then that evening we had friends over to watch a movie. Both are things we normally do.
Yesterday morning I was able to go to work, and even walked to the office and back. No, I normally don't walk to work. However, I usually run everyday before and/or after work. Because of my surgery I can't run so to get exercise I have to walk, thus the walking to work. All that being said, I normally workout and exercise an I'm beginning to be able to do that again.
Today I had another Dr.'s appointment which seems to be my new normal, and tomorrow another chemo treatment. But, in the midst of everything that is trying to take my life, I'm here to say that I'm living my life as close to normal as I possibly can. In the middle of conquering a disease that is trying to stop my life, I'm going to continue my life.
Yes, adjustments must be made. No, I can't physically do everything I used to do...YET. This afternoon I was able to comfortably do 5 miles on the bike in less than 20 minutes. It isn't the same as running but I'm okay with that. I'm getting there, and I thank all the people that are helping me get there.
I may be in the valley, caught up in the shadow. I may be tired but I won't grow weary, for I know that God is lifting me up on wings like eagles. I know I'm not forsaken, and I'm never alone.
-Kirby
Tuesday, November 29, 2011
Friday, November 25, 2011
Thankful
This Thanksgiving has been, well, different to say the least. When you have something like being diagnosed with cancer at any point of the year, you realize what is truly important. You gain a sense of gratefulness for things you may not have otherwise.
This year I'm thankful for life. When just a couple of weeks ago I was told by the doctors I was a week away from death it makes me thankful that I'm alive today. Not only am I alive but I'm at home and able to eat and rest peacefully. I'm able to enjoy another Thanksgiving meal.
No, it's not the ideal thanksgiving. I don't feel great by any means. I don't feel like myself yet. BUT I'm getting there. And, I still have been able to go through treatments without major side effects. I'm thankful that I paid a bunch of money for meds to help with nausea and I haven't had to take a single one!
I'm thankful that I still have my hair lol. They said I would probably start losing it by now but I still have it!
More than anything I'm thankful for all of the people in my life. My amazing wife has been more than I could ask or hope for during this time. She is so strong and I don't think I could even think about trying to go through this without her.
My family has sacrificed so much to be with me at the hospital and my new family (Catherine's side of the family) even drove up last night with a full Thanksgiving meal to share with us. They changed their plans, drove 150 miles one way just to bring us a good Thanksgiving meal. Now that's something to be thankful for!
My church families have been a life saver for sure. I say families because I'm just that blessed. We have multiple churches all over the world praying for us. People that have been an important part of my life stretching from Texas and other sates to England, Poland, Kenya, South Africa, and beyond are praying and standing with us believing for the manifestation of my healing.
My Harvest family has been truly life giving. My church. The church I call home, Harvest Christian Fellowship, is something I as well as hundreds of others are thankful for. The people of Harvest are some the best people in the world. Believe me, I know. I've been to many places and know of many great churches around the world. I would put my church against any of them.
I said in the beginning of this post that I was thankful for life. Well I'm hear to say that the people of Harvest Christian Fellowship emanate life. When you get to know my family at Harvest then you'll experience what I'm talking about. You'll experience what God intended life to be. Love God. Love people. That's simple. That's Harvest. And I'm thankful that we as a church don't make it any more complicated than that.
Most importantly, I'm thankful that I have a great relationship with my Lord and Savior, my healer, my strength, my trust, Jesus. I simply don't have any more words to say besides thank you and I love you.
This year I'm thankful for life. When just a couple of weeks ago I was told by the doctors I was a week away from death it makes me thankful that I'm alive today. Not only am I alive but I'm at home and able to eat and rest peacefully. I'm able to enjoy another Thanksgiving meal.
No, it's not the ideal thanksgiving. I don't feel great by any means. I don't feel like myself yet. BUT I'm getting there. And, I still have been able to go through treatments without major side effects. I'm thankful that I paid a bunch of money for meds to help with nausea and I haven't had to take a single one!
I'm thankful that I still have my hair lol. They said I would probably start losing it by now but I still have it!
More than anything I'm thankful for all of the people in my life. My amazing wife has been more than I could ask or hope for during this time. She is so strong and I don't think I could even think about trying to go through this without her.
My family has sacrificed so much to be with me at the hospital and my new family (Catherine's side of the family) even drove up last night with a full Thanksgiving meal to share with us. They changed their plans, drove 150 miles one way just to bring us a good Thanksgiving meal. Now that's something to be thankful for!
My church families have been a life saver for sure. I say families because I'm just that blessed. We have multiple churches all over the world praying for us. People that have been an important part of my life stretching from Texas and other sates to England, Poland, Kenya, South Africa, and beyond are praying and standing with us believing for the manifestation of my healing.
My Harvest family has been truly life giving. My church. The church I call home, Harvest Christian Fellowship, is something I as well as hundreds of others are thankful for. The people of Harvest are some the best people in the world. Believe me, I know. I've been to many places and know of many great churches around the world. I would put my church against any of them.
I said in the beginning of this post that I was thankful for life. Well I'm hear to say that the people of Harvest Christian Fellowship emanate life. When you get to know my family at Harvest then you'll experience what I'm talking about. You'll experience what God intended life to be. Love God. Love people. That's simple. That's Harvest. And I'm thankful that we as a church don't make it any more complicated than that.
Most importantly, I'm thankful that I have a great relationship with my Lord and Savior, my healer, my strength, my trust, Jesus. I simply don't have any more words to say besides thank you and I love you.
Wednesday, November 23, 2011
Cancer Center
It was so amazing to be able to go home for a couple of days! I have been sleeping non stop it seems but that's a good thing considering I was in the hospital for 6 days not sleeping much.
Today I'm actually getting another chemo treatment but this time it's in the cancer center here at UMC. It's so much nicer than being in the hospital. I have my own recliner and flat screen TV. There are massage chairs and all sorts of great amenities. So I just come in and get treatment and get to go home again which is really nice.
I have been talking to a couple of doctors and they have confirmed what has been in my own spirit. The next few days are a very crucial time in my healing. Following the first cycle of chemo is when your body has the most potential for break-down so to speak. This is the time when the chemo starts killing everything including white blood cells.
This is what we need everyone to pray for. We need everyone to agree that the chemo would attack the cancer cells and leave my good cells alone. Pray that immune system will stay strong and that it will continue to function normally. If it does what they say it will do, I will be susceptible to infections and sickness. BUT, we believe that God can and will prevent this from happening.
Other than that, I'm really fatigued so pray that I can rest and sleep well and regain my strength.
-Kirby
Today I'm actually getting another chemo treatment but this time it's in the cancer center here at UMC. It's so much nicer than being in the hospital. I have my own recliner and flat screen TV. There are massage chairs and all sorts of great amenities. So I just come in and get treatment and get to go home again which is really nice.
I have been talking to a couple of doctors and they have confirmed what has been in my own spirit. The next few days are a very crucial time in my healing. Following the first cycle of chemo is when your body has the most potential for break-down so to speak. This is the time when the chemo starts killing everything including white blood cells.
This is what we need everyone to pray for. We need everyone to agree that the chemo would attack the cancer cells and leave my good cells alone. Pray that immune system will stay strong and that it will continue to function normally. If it does what they say it will do, I will be susceptible to infections and sickness. BUT, we believe that God can and will prevent this from happening.
Other than that, I'm really fatigued so pray that I can rest and sleep well and regain my strength.
-Kirby
Monday, November 21, 2011
Almost There
So, I'm lying here in a hospital bed on my sixth day of what was supposed to be a five day stay. And I say to myself, "no worries", cause I'm almost there.
I have just a little bit more time to lay here and have these chemicals pumped into my chest. Then, I'll get to finally go home.
I have experienced no side effects from the chemo and I'm extremely thankful for that. In fact, besides not being able to sleep and rest well it's been a surprisingly good stay. The only sickness I have is simply being sick of being in the hospital.
With this stay, though, so much compassion has grown inside of me. I'm tearing up as I write this actually. I will never be able to look at cancer the same. I'll never be able to look at sickness and disease the same.
While I've been here so many people have prayed for me and I can't possibly say thank you enough. But, I want everyone to know that I have already won and victory is already mine.
I have been at total peace since I heard the words "you have cancer," which is truly beyond understanding. I don't know why I have cancer and I don't care. All I know is that I won't let it go to waste. I will use this time to let God work in and through me. I will allow His word to be spoken through my actions and reactions.
While I continue to ask and thank you for your prayers, know that I am praying for the other patients on this hospital floor. I'm praying for the nurses and the doctors. I'm praying that the Peace of God and His healing anointing would be so present in this room and floor that everyone here would be healed of this terrible disease. I am praying that the Kingdom of God would be increased and advanced through me conquering cancer.
I told God from the beginning that I would love a miraculous healing, but that I'm more than willing to fight. In all of this I know that I have my miracle and I'll be a miracle to others.
I think that so often as Christians we hope and pray to escape everything. We just can't believe that we could ever find ourselves in the valley and plead God to save us from our misery.
What I'm learning is that we are called to walk through it all. We are equipped to fight the battles that come our way. Escaping isn't the greatest testimony. Sure, miraculous healing is a great thing. I've witnessed many, even in my own body. For me in this time though, I know that I'm called to stand and fight.
God has given me every tool and weapon I need to win. He has already made the way straight. In His eyes it's already finished and the victory is won. So all this "stuff" I get to endure is just the process and the path that I get to walk through.
Sure it's tough. Yeah it sucks at times. If I said I love having cancer I'd be lying for sure. But, I get a chance to grow and rejoice in suffering. Maybe that's a lesson I learned in my track career but it's true: you get better when you fight through the pain and the suffering. And what's more, when you gain the right perspective, it is no longer pain and suffering. It's just the path to victory.
I have just a little bit more time to lay here and have these chemicals pumped into my chest. Then, I'll get to finally go home.
I have experienced no side effects from the chemo and I'm extremely thankful for that. In fact, besides not being able to sleep and rest well it's been a surprisingly good stay. The only sickness I have is simply being sick of being in the hospital.
With this stay, though, so much compassion has grown inside of me. I'm tearing up as I write this actually. I will never be able to look at cancer the same. I'll never be able to look at sickness and disease the same.
While I've been here so many people have prayed for me and I can't possibly say thank you enough. But, I want everyone to know that I have already won and victory is already mine.
I have been at total peace since I heard the words "you have cancer," which is truly beyond understanding. I don't know why I have cancer and I don't care. All I know is that I won't let it go to waste. I will use this time to let God work in and through me. I will allow His word to be spoken through my actions and reactions.
While I continue to ask and thank you for your prayers, know that I am praying for the other patients on this hospital floor. I'm praying for the nurses and the doctors. I'm praying that the Peace of God and His healing anointing would be so present in this room and floor that everyone here would be healed of this terrible disease. I am praying that the Kingdom of God would be increased and advanced through me conquering cancer.
I told God from the beginning that I would love a miraculous healing, but that I'm more than willing to fight. In all of this I know that I have my miracle and I'll be a miracle to others.
I think that so often as Christians we hope and pray to escape everything. We just can't believe that we could ever find ourselves in the valley and plead God to save us from our misery.
What I'm learning is that we are called to walk through it all. We are equipped to fight the battles that come our way. Escaping isn't the greatest testimony. Sure, miraculous healing is a great thing. I've witnessed many, even in my own body. For me in this time though, I know that I'm called to stand and fight.
God has given me every tool and weapon I need to win. He has already made the way straight. In His eyes it's already finished and the victory is won. So all this "stuff" I get to endure is just the process and the path that I get to walk through.
Sure it's tough. Yeah it sucks at times. If I said I love having cancer I'd be lying for sure. But, I get a chance to grow and rejoice in suffering. Maybe that's a lesson I learned in my track career but it's true: you get better when you fight through the pain and the suffering. And what's more, when you gain the right perspective, it is no longer pain and suffering. It's just the path to victory.
Sunday, November 20, 2011
The Intro
I decided that a blog would be the best way to keep everyone updated on the progress of my healing. As most of you know, on November 7th I had an emergency surgery to remove one of my testicles and then the next day was diagnosed with Stage 3b Non-Seminonma Testicular Cancer.
At first, the numbers showed that the form of cancer I had was extremely aggressive and I was actually being scheduled to start chemotherapy the day of my diagnosis. The doctors were basically saying that based on the numbers they took from my blood levels before my surgery that had I waited another week to go to the doctor that I would have died. They were concerned that the cancer was doubling so fast that it could eat through my lungs through the night.
BUT, God worked a miracle and after another round of tests, the numbers showed a new report and that aggressivness was no longer in the picture.
I was then scheduled to start chemotherapy at a later date. I was admitted to UMC Hospital in Lubbock, TX on November 16th. That day I had a minor surgery to have a port placed in my chest to receive the chemotherapy and began the first of four cycles of chemotherapy on November 17th.
As of today, I have had three rounds of chemo and have experienced no side effects. (Other than being tired from the fact that I have to stay in an uncomfortable hospital bed with people constantly checking on me 24/7).
Continue to pray for my healing and that the chemo will do it's job. That it will kill the cancer and leave everything else alone.
At first, the numbers showed that the form of cancer I had was extremely aggressive and I was actually being scheduled to start chemotherapy the day of my diagnosis. The doctors were basically saying that based on the numbers they took from my blood levels before my surgery that had I waited another week to go to the doctor that I would have died. They were concerned that the cancer was doubling so fast that it could eat through my lungs through the night.
BUT, God worked a miracle and after another round of tests, the numbers showed a new report and that aggressivness was no longer in the picture.
I was then scheduled to start chemotherapy at a later date. I was admitted to UMC Hospital in Lubbock, TX on November 16th. That day I had a minor surgery to have a port placed in my chest to receive the chemotherapy and began the first of four cycles of chemotherapy on November 17th.
As of today, I have had three rounds of chemo and have experienced no side effects. (Other than being tired from the fact that I have to stay in an uncomfortable hospital bed with people constantly checking on me 24/7).
Continue to pray for my healing and that the chemo will do it's job. That it will kill the cancer and leave everything else alone.
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