Almost There

So, I'm lying here in a hospital bed on my sixth day of what was supposed to be a five day stay. And I say to myself, "no worries", cause I'm almost there.

I have just a little bit more time to lay here and have these chemicals pumped into my chest. Then, I'll get to finally go home.

I have experienced no side effects from the chemo and I'm extremely thankful for that. In fact, besides not being able to sleep and rest well it's been a surprisingly good stay. The only sickness I have is simply being sick of being in the hospital.

With this stay, though, so much compassion has grown inside of me. I'm tearing up as I write this actually. I will never be able to look at cancer the same. I'll never be able to look at sickness and disease the same.

While I've been here so many people have prayed for me and I can't possibly say thank you enough. But, I want everyone to know that I have already won and victory is already mine.

I have been at total peace since I heard the words "you have cancer," which is truly beyond understanding. I don't know why I have cancer and I don't care. All I know is that I won't let it go to waste. I will use this time to let God work in and through me. I will allow His word to be spoken through my actions and reactions.

While I continue to ask and thank you for your prayers, know that I am praying for the other patients on this hospital floor. I'm praying for the nurses and the doctors. I'm praying that the Peace of God and His healing anointing would be so present in this room and floor that everyone here would be healed of this terrible disease. I am praying that the Kingdom of God would be increased and advanced through me conquering cancer.

I told God from the beginning that I would love a miraculous healing, but that I'm more than willing to fight. In all of this I know that I have my miracle and I'll be a miracle to others.

I think that so often as Christians we hope and pray to escape everything. We just can't believe that we could ever find ourselves in the valley and plead God to save us from our misery.

What I'm learning is that we are called to walk through it all. We are equipped to fight the battles that come our way. Escaping isn't the greatest testimony. Sure, miraculous healing is a great thing. I've witnessed many, even in my own body. For me in this time though, I know that I'm called to stand and fight.

God has given me every tool and weapon I need to win. He has already made the way straight. In His eyes it's already finished and the victory is won. So all this "stuff" I get to endure is just the process and the path that I get to walk through.

Sure it's tough. Yeah it sucks at times. If I said I love having cancer I'd be lying for sure. But, I get a chance to grow and rejoice in suffering. Maybe that's a lesson I learned in my track career but it's true: you get better when you fight through the pain and the suffering. And what's more, when you gain the right perspective, it is no longer pain and suffering. It's just the path to victory.