Back to the race. Today I am doing the last treatment of cycle two. In the race comparison, I'm on the last few meters of lap two and about to cross the start/finish line for lap three. The start of lap three begins on January 3.
Things are going well. Catherine and I were able to travel to visit my parents for Christmas which was great. I think more than anything, it was great to just get away.
Emotionally it was a little tough this Christmas because my grandmother passed away on the 22nd. I know it sounds strange to say, but it was almost relieving for us to see her go. Now before you jump to conclusions as to why, hear me out. My grandmother was an amazing woman and I loved her dearly, but it was tough to watch her the past few years. She had been in and out of the hospital and nursing home. She really had been in a lot of pain and a lot of suffering for a long time. Really she was ready to go home about three years ago. She lived a tough life. She outlived two husbands and two children and she was only 82.
So, as hard as it was to see her go, I know that all of our family is now rejoicing with her that she is finally home. She is where she really wanted to be for Christmas.
Now that I think about it, this fall/winter has been what most would consider pretty terrible. Not only did I get diagnosed with cancer but my grandmother, who lived with our family since I was in second grade, passed away. But I'm still at peace. I still have joy in my life. I still have more things to be grateful for than I do to be grieved.
Even in the hardest times. Even in the darkest times, God's abundance is supplied to and for us.
I think one of the most important lessons I've learned in life is that many times we have to stop asking the question "why?". We live in a world in which bad stuff happens. We spend so much time asking why and then trying to figure out why it did. We judge people. We judge ourselves. We take on guilt and shame. All of this just adds to more to whatever "bad" thing happened.
I got cancer. I don't know why. I don't know how. I can't change the fact that it happened. All I can do is make the best of the situation by trusting in the truth of God's word. The facts of life can be terrible sometimes, but His truth remains the same. I am more than a conquerer. I am an overcomer. I am healed. All because of what Jesus accomplished through the cross. Even when my circumstances are nowhere near looking like it, it doesn't change the truth.
Wednesday, December 28, 2011
Thursday, December 15, 2011
To Be Honest...
I started this blog to keep people updated on how I'm doing.
Physically I'm really doing well right now. I'm not sure if I wrote earlier about all the weight I had lost, but it was about 20 pounds. For those of you who know me, you realize that I didn't have 20 pounds to loose. Well, the past two days I've weighed in at 155 pounds. That's 13 pounds up and the weight at which I was when I was competing in my career at Wayland.
More than that, my face no longer looks like a skull which is a good thing.
As great as things are going, there are still days like today when emotionally its just plain tough. It's most definitely easier to maintain a positive attitude being able to be treated outpatient rather than being admitted to the hospital, but this morning was hard for me for some reason.
I'm not sure why today was hard to get motivated but it was. I'll be honest and say that when I woke up this morning I just wanted everything to be over. I wanted the port catheter hanging from my chest to be out. I wanted to just go on a cold morning run (my favorite) then take a hot shower and get ready for work. I wanted to look in the mirror and see my long blonde wavy hair again. But I didn't.
Now, I'm back in my chair in the cancer center...all hooked up and ready to go. I prayed the whole way up here. I had to. I made sure to establish my heart in peace for the day. I had to. It's this peace that I can't afford to lose. It's this peace, His peace, in my heart that is the proof of my victory.
It is a peace that truly surpasses understanding. A peace that comes from a revelation of who God is in me, and who I am in Him. It is a peace that is that guards me. A peace that guides me. It is a peace that leads me to a place of victory even in the midst of seeming defeat.
It is a peace that gets me through, even on days like today.
I encourage you today to make sure you find this peace. Wherever you are, whatever you're going through, establish your heart with the peace of God. It sure beats worry, fear, and simple don't-want-to's!
Peace!
-Kirby
Physically I'm really doing well right now. I'm not sure if I wrote earlier about all the weight I had lost, but it was about 20 pounds. For those of you who know me, you realize that I didn't have 20 pounds to loose. Well, the past two days I've weighed in at 155 pounds. That's 13 pounds up and the weight at which I was when I was competing in my career at Wayland.
More than that, my face no longer looks like a skull which is a good thing.
As great as things are going, there are still days like today when emotionally its just plain tough. It's most definitely easier to maintain a positive attitude being able to be treated outpatient rather than being admitted to the hospital, but this morning was hard for me for some reason.
I'm not sure why today was hard to get motivated but it was. I'll be honest and say that when I woke up this morning I just wanted everything to be over. I wanted the port catheter hanging from my chest to be out. I wanted to just go on a cold morning run (my favorite) then take a hot shower and get ready for work. I wanted to look in the mirror and see my long blonde wavy hair again. But I didn't.
Now, I'm back in my chair in the cancer center...all hooked up and ready to go. I prayed the whole way up here. I had to. I made sure to establish my heart in peace for the day. I had to. It's this peace that I can't afford to lose. It's this peace, His peace, in my heart that is the proof of my victory.
It is a peace that truly surpasses understanding. A peace that comes from a revelation of who God is in me, and who I am in Him. It is a peace that is that guards me. A peace that guides me. It is a peace that leads me to a place of victory even in the midst of seeming defeat.
It is a peace that gets me through, even on days like today.
I encourage you today to make sure you find this peace. Wherever you are, whatever you're going through, establish your heart with the peace of God. It sure beats worry, fear, and simple don't-want-to's!
Peace!
-Kirby
Monday, December 12, 2011
Lap 2...GO!
It's Monday morning. Time for work. Time for school. For me however, I get to receive more of my healing. I'm in the cancer center this morning starting the second cycle of the chemotherapy.
Normally I think most people would hate the position I'm in. And, it's not that great if you have most people's perspective.
The key to living in victory, to walking and generating abundance, is perspective. I know that I'm healed already. I know that God has already gone before me and prepared the way. The path has been made straight and the rushing waters have been parted.
As I have always quoted and have known in my heart, God knows the plans He has for me. They are plans to prosper me and not to harm me. My Lord is my guide and He will never lead me to a place of lack. That includes this season of my life.
Most people would call cancer a curse. And I suppose for most people it is. But with the perspective that I have, I know it's a blessing. My Bible tells me that have been set free from the curse and that I have received the blessing that is Christ. So here I sit on my blessed assurance, as my dad always says (that's a pun in case you missed it), as I journey on this path that God has made mine blogging about it on my iPhone.
So, what's the significance of doing this outpatient instead of being admitted to the hospital? I'll tell you. For me personally, it's significant because I get to sleep in my own bed at night instead of being in the hospital all week. And, I think that most people would say that's significant enough.
There's much more than this however. My doctor and the nurses said it has never been done. Now, I'm not sure if it has never been done anywhere, or just at this particular hospital and cancer treatment center. Nevertheless, they have never allowed a patient with my type of cancer and treatments to do this stage of a cycle (5 days in a row) outpatient. They ALWAYS admit patients to the hospital for this portion.
Now, I received a word that the medical field needed my testimony. While I'm not positive what all that includes, I do believe that this is part of it. I'm the first to be allowed to do this here. The doctor was hesitant to do it at first. I didn't even know if I was going to be able to, but I'm here.
I believe that your prayers have and will continue to help and support me. Continue to pray that things go abnormally well. I believe that they will. After this round of treatments, the oncology department here will know that it can be done. They will see that they can give patients with this type of cancer and method of treatment an option in the future. They don't have to just send them to the hospital. Agree with me in this. We can do it!
"Though I walk in the midst of trouble, You will revive me; You will stretch forth Your hand against the wrath of my enemies, and Your right hand will save me. The Lord will perfect that which concerns me; Your mercy and loving-kindness, O Lord, endure forever--forsake not the works of Your own hands." (Psalm 138:7, 8 AMP)
-Kirby
Normally I think most people would hate the position I'm in. And, it's not that great if you have most people's perspective.
The key to living in victory, to walking and generating abundance, is perspective. I know that I'm healed already. I know that God has already gone before me and prepared the way. The path has been made straight and the rushing waters have been parted.
As I have always quoted and have known in my heart, God knows the plans He has for me. They are plans to prosper me and not to harm me. My Lord is my guide and He will never lead me to a place of lack. That includes this season of my life.
Most people would call cancer a curse. And I suppose for most people it is. But with the perspective that I have, I know it's a blessing. My Bible tells me that have been set free from the curse and that I have received the blessing that is Christ. So here I sit on my blessed assurance, as my dad always says (that's a pun in case you missed it), as I journey on this path that God has made mine blogging about it on my iPhone.
So, what's the significance of doing this outpatient instead of being admitted to the hospital? I'll tell you. For me personally, it's significant because I get to sleep in my own bed at night instead of being in the hospital all week. And, I think that most people would say that's significant enough.
There's much more than this however. My doctor and the nurses said it has never been done. Now, I'm not sure if it has never been done anywhere, or just at this particular hospital and cancer treatment center. Nevertheless, they have never allowed a patient with my type of cancer and treatments to do this stage of a cycle (5 days in a row) outpatient. They ALWAYS admit patients to the hospital for this portion.
Now, I received a word that the medical field needed my testimony. While I'm not positive what all that includes, I do believe that this is part of it. I'm the first to be allowed to do this here. The doctor was hesitant to do it at first. I didn't even know if I was going to be able to, but I'm here.
I believe that your prayers have and will continue to help and support me. Continue to pray that things go abnormally well. I believe that they will. After this round of treatments, the oncology department here will know that it can be done. They will see that they can give patients with this type of cancer and method of treatment an option in the future. They don't have to just send them to the hospital. Agree with me in this. We can do it!
"Though I walk in the midst of trouble, You will revive me; You will stretch forth Your hand against the wrath of my enemies, and Your right hand will save me. The Lord will perfect that which concerns me; Your mercy and loving-kindness, O Lord, endure forever--forsake not the works of Your own hands." (Psalm 138:7, 8 AMP)
-Kirby
Saturday, December 10, 2011
My Return to the Throne
As many of you know, I love to play the drums. More specifically, I love to worship on the drums. And some of you may know that the stool that drummers sit on is called a "throne".
I've been missing worshipping on the throne for the past few weeks because I couldn't play due to my surgery and treatments.
Now I can play again and it was awesome to be back with the team as we practiced on Thursday night. Sunday's always seem better to me when I get the opportunity to worship in our services on the drums.
I've been missing worshipping on the throne for the past few weeks because I couldn't play due to my surgery and treatments.
Now I can play again and it was awesome to be back with the team as we practiced on Thursday night. Sunday's always seem better to me when I get the opportunity to worship in our services on the drums.
Tuesday, December 6, 2011
Mohawk Time!!!
So, for those of you who know already, my hair began to fall out last Friday (December 2nd). I went ahead and started to shave it all off that afternoon because it was as if I was a large dog shedding its long winter coat. Hair was getting everywhere. I didn't shave it completely however; I simply got a 'buzz' cut. It was about as close to bald as you can get without it actually being bald.
With that being said, by Sunday night even the tiny little hairs in my head were beginning to fall out. I was scrubbing my head in the shower (something new to me since I've always just washed my hair) and when I got out, there were bald 'scrub' marks on my head. I had literally scrubbed my hair off in certain places. It didn't look that great to me, and I noticed that the very top of my head had escaped the scrub massacre. It was at this point that I decided to give myself a mohawk. I had never in my wildest dreams thought I would ever have a true mohawk. On that note, I guess had also never imagined that I would ever have cancer. But, I'm having fun with it. It's different. It catches people off-guard. It's something to laugh about. And, I plan on trying to preserve it for as long as I can, even if it's only for a few days. And "I pity the fool" who doesn't enjoy this along with me!
With that being said, by Sunday night even the tiny little hairs in my head were beginning to fall out. I was scrubbing my head in the shower (something new to me since I've always just washed my hair) and when I got out, there were bald 'scrub' marks on my head. I had literally scrubbed my hair off in certain places. It didn't look that great to me, and I noticed that the very top of my head had escaped the scrub massacre. It was at this point that I decided to give myself a mohawk. I had never in my wildest dreams thought I would ever have a true mohawk. On that note, I guess had also never imagined that I would ever have cancer. But, I'm having fun with it. It's different. It catches people off-guard. It's something to laugh about. And, I plan on trying to preserve it for as long as I can, even if it's only for a few days. And "I pity the fool" who doesn't enjoy this along with me!
Sunday, December 4, 2011
Oh Where Is My Hair(brush)?!?
I haven't lost my hairbrush...BUT I have lost my hair! Woohoo!!! I know, I wasn't that excited about it. I started to lose my hair this past Friday so I made the decision to go ahead and just shave it off.
The only thing I don't really like is the fact that my head gets realllly cold now...especially since it was a pretty drastic change. When it started to fall out I must admit that I had a good long cry about it. I guess I had more of an emotional attachment to my hair than I previously thought. It was kind of depressing when I was washing my hair as normal and I looked down only to see my hands covered in my hair.
I could simply grab a chunk of hair and pull and out it would come, as easy as if someone were cutting it. Maybe the fact that it was falling out due to the chemo was the reason it was hard to deal with at first. It was really the first big side-effect I have experienced. Still, I am so blessed that this has been it. I would much rather be bald and feel well than be sick and tired.
Continue to pray that my treatment go well. Continue to pray that I don't get sick. Continue to pray that my strength goes back to the way it used to be. Continue to pray for Catherine, that she would have strength and peace through this all. Continue to pray.
The only thing I don't really like is the fact that my head gets realllly cold now...especially since it was a pretty drastic change. When it started to fall out I must admit that I had a good long cry about it. I guess I had more of an emotional attachment to my hair than I previously thought. It was kind of depressing when I was washing my hair as normal and I looked down only to see my hands covered in my hair.
I could simply grab a chunk of hair and pull and out it would come, as easy as if someone were cutting it. Maybe the fact that it was falling out due to the chemo was the reason it was hard to deal with at first. It was really the first big side-effect I have experienced. Still, I am so blessed that this has been it. I would much rather be bald and feel well than be sick and tired.
Continue to pray that my treatment go well. Continue to pray that I don't get sick. Continue to pray that my strength goes back to the way it used to be. Continue to pray for Catherine, that she would have strength and peace through this all. Continue to pray.
Thursday, December 1, 2011
The Perfect Race- 1 Lap Down!
As most of you know, I'm a runner. Probably my favorite race distance is the mile. The sub-four minute mile has always been what I've trained for. Although I have not yet ran one I have been close enough for so many attempts that I know what it takes.
It's the perfect race. Four laps, just under 1 minute each. Sounds simple enough and it is in theory. But trust me, few ever get there.
Anyways, I relate most things in life to running. My chemotherapy is no different. I have been given a new race to run, four cycles of chemotherapy. It will take much longer than running a mile but the parallel is there. Four laps to a mile, for cycles to a cancer-free body.
I'm happy to say that I successfully completed the first lap of the cancer mile yesterday. And, besides being completely wiped-out from the 50mg of Benadryl they pump into the IV before the chemo, I had no side-effects yet again.
Four laps, and four cycles is a great way to look at it for me. However, I pray that the analogy ends there. Why? I'll tell you why. In a mile race, each lap is harder than the last. The first lap, if you're properly trained and you are racing according to strategy, is like you aren't even trying. It's easy. It's controlled. It goes by quick and you shouldn't even really be breathing that hard.
The second lap should be harder but still fairly relaxed. The end of the second lap is when you begin to feel the burn.
The third lap is always the hardest. You have to consciously make yourself push. You feel like you have increased the pace significantly yet you haven't increased it at all. You're actually lucky if you have maintained the pace.
When you cross the line to begin the fourth lap is when your adrenaline kicks in. However, you have to keep it in check because more than likely if you start your "kick" then it won't last the entire 400 meters that remains in the race. It's at this point when experience and pure guts drives you to the point to where whatever you have left finally gets you across the finish line.
With this chemotherapy, I pray that each cycle just gets easier. I'm sure it's supposed to be similar to a mile race, each cycle just getting more and more taxing on the body. And, if that's the way it is for me I know I'm prepared to go through that. I believe, however, that God has made my way straight. He has gone before me and leveled he ground. He has parted the waters, and I'm walking on solid ground.
I ask that everyone continue to pray that this would be my reality. Pray that I would not experience what I'm "supposed" to experience. Pray that this would be my best race yet. Pray that this would be a race made perfect by the power and presence of Jesus.
-Kirby
It's the perfect race. Four laps, just under 1 minute each. Sounds simple enough and it is in theory. But trust me, few ever get there.
Anyways, I relate most things in life to running. My chemotherapy is no different. I have been given a new race to run, four cycles of chemotherapy. It will take much longer than running a mile but the parallel is there. Four laps to a mile, for cycles to a cancer-free body.
I'm happy to say that I successfully completed the first lap of the cancer mile yesterday. And, besides being completely wiped-out from the 50mg of Benadryl they pump into the IV before the chemo, I had no side-effects yet again.
Four laps, and four cycles is a great way to look at it for me. However, I pray that the analogy ends there. Why? I'll tell you why. In a mile race, each lap is harder than the last. The first lap, if you're properly trained and you are racing according to strategy, is like you aren't even trying. It's easy. It's controlled. It goes by quick and you shouldn't even really be breathing that hard.
The second lap should be harder but still fairly relaxed. The end of the second lap is when you begin to feel the burn.
The third lap is always the hardest. You have to consciously make yourself push. You feel like you have increased the pace significantly yet you haven't increased it at all. You're actually lucky if you have maintained the pace.
When you cross the line to begin the fourth lap is when your adrenaline kicks in. However, you have to keep it in check because more than likely if you start your "kick" then it won't last the entire 400 meters that remains in the race. It's at this point when experience and pure guts drives you to the point to where whatever you have left finally gets you across the finish line.
With this chemotherapy, I pray that each cycle just gets easier. I'm sure it's supposed to be similar to a mile race, each cycle just getting more and more taxing on the body. And, if that's the way it is for me I know I'm prepared to go through that. I believe, however, that God has made my way straight. He has gone before me and leveled he ground. He has parted the waters, and I'm walking on solid ground.
I ask that everyone continue to pray that this would be my reality. Pray that I would not experience what I'm "supposed" to experience. Pray that this would be my best race yet. Pray that this would be a race made perfect by the power and presence of Jesus.
-Kirby
Tuesday, November 29, 2011
Normalcy
This is one word that adequately describes what I've been wanting to attain. To feel normal. To do the things I normally do. To be who I normally am.
Well, this week has been a good step in that direction so far. Sunday I was able to go to church. Then that evening we had friends over to watch a movie. Both are things we normally do.
Yesterday morning I was able to go to work, and even walked to the office and back. No, I normally don't walk to work. However, I usually run everyday before and/or after work. Because of my surgery I can't run so to get exercise I have to walk, thus the walking to work. All that being said, I normally workout and exercise an I'm beginning to be able to do that again.
Today I had another Dr.'s appointment which seems to be my new normal, and tomorrow another chemo treatment. But, in the midst of everything that is trying to take my life, I'm here to say that I'm living my life as close to normal as I possibly can. In the middle of conquering a disease that is trying to stop my life, I'm going to continue my life.
Yes, adjustments must be made. No, I can't physically do everything I used to do...YET. This afternoon I was able to comfortably do 5 miles on the bike in less than 20 minutes. It isn't the same as running but I'm okay with that. I'm getting there, and I thank all the people that are helping me get there.
I may be in the valley, caught up in the shadow. I may be tired but I won't grow weary, for I know that God is lifting me up on wings like eagles. I know I'm not forsaken, and I'm never alone.
-Kirby
Well, this week has been a good step in that direction so far. Sunday I was able to go to church. Then that evening we had friends over to watch a movie. Both are things we normally do.
Yesterday morning I was able to go to work, and even walked to the office and back. No, I normally don't walk to work. However, I usually run everyday before and/or after work. Because of my surgery I can't run so to get exercise I have to walk, thus the walking to work. All that being said, I normally workout and exercise an I'm beginning to be able to do that again.
Today I had another Dr.'s appointment which seems to be my new normal, and tomorrow another chemo treatment. But, in the midst of everything that is trying to take my life, I'm here to say that I'm living my life as close to normal as I possibly can. In the middle of conquering a disease that is trying to stop my life, I'm going to continue my life.
Yes, adjustments must be made. No, I can't physically do everything I used to do...YET. This afternoon I was able to comfortably do 5 miles on the bike in less than 20 minutes. It isn't the same as running but I'm okay with that. I'm getting there, and I thank all the people that are helping me get there.
I may be in the valley, caught up in the shadow. I may be tired but I won't grow weary, for I know that God is lifting me up on wings like eagles. I know I'm not forsaken, and I'm never alone.
-Kirby
Friday, November 25, 2011
Thankful
This Thanksgiving has been, well, different to say the least. When you have something like being diagnosed with cancer at any point of the year, you realize what is truly important. You gain a sense of gratefulness for things you may not have otherwise.
This year I'm thankful for life. When just a couple of weeks ago I was told by the doctors I was a week away from death it makes me thankful that I'm alive today. Not only am I alive but I'm at home and able to eat and rest peacefully. I'm able to enjoy another Thanksgiving meal.
No, it's not the ideal thanksgiving. I don't feel great by any means. I don't feel like myself yet. BUT I'm getting there. And, I still have been able to go through treatments without major side effects. I'm thankful that I paid a bunch of money for meds to help with nausea and I haven't had to take a single one!
I'm thankful that I still have my hair lol. They said I would probably start losing it by now but I still have it!
More than anything I'm thankful for all of the people in my life. My amazing wife has been more than I could ask or hope for during this time. She is so strong and I don't think I could even think about trying to go through this without her.
My family has sacrificed so much to be with me at the hospital and my new family (Catherine's side of the family) even drove up last night with a full Thanksgiving meal to share with us. They changed their plans, drove 150 miles one way just to bring us a good Thanksgiving meal. Now that's something to be thankful for!
My church families have been a life saver for sure. I say families because I'm just that blessed. We have multiple churches all over the world praying for us. People that have been an important part of my life stretching from Texas and other sates to England, Poland, Kenya, South Africa, and beyond are praying and standing with us believing for the manifestation of my healing.
My Harvest family has been truly life giving. My church. The church I call home, Harvest Christian Fellowship, is something I as well as hundreds of others are thankful for. The people of Harvest are some the best people in the world. Believe me, I know. I've been to many places and know of many great churches around the world. I would put my church against any of them.
I said in the beginning of this post that I was thankful for life. Well I'm hear to say that the people of Harvest Christian Fellowship emanate life. When you get to know my family at Harvest then you'll experience what I'm talking about. You'll experience what God intended life to be. Love God. Love people. That's simple. That's Harvest. And I'm thankful that we as a church don't make it any more complicated than that.
Most importantly, I'm thankful that I have a great relationship with my Lord and Savior, my healer, my strength, my trust, Jesus. I simply don't have any more words to say besides thank you and I love you.
This year I'm thankful for life. When just a couple of weeks ago I was told by the doctors I was a week away from death it makes me thankful that I'm alive today. Not only am I alive but I'm at home and able to eat and rest peacefully. I'm able to enjoy another Thanksgiving meal.
No, it's not the ideal thanksgiving. I don't feel great by any means. I don't feel like myself yet. BUT I'm getting there. And, I still have been able to go through treatments without major side effects. I'm thankful that I paid a bunch of money for meds to help with nausea and I haven't had to take a single one!
I'm thankful that I still have my hair lol. They said I would probably start losing it by now but I still have it!
More than anything I'm thankful for all of the people in my life. My amazing wife has been more than I could ask or hope for during this time. She is so strong and I don't think I could even think about trying to go through this without her.
My family has sacrificed so much to be with me at the hospital and my new family (Catherine's side of the family) even drove up last night with a full Thanksgiving meal to share with us. They changed their plans, drove 150 miles one way just to bring us a good Thanksgiving meal. Now that's something to be thankful for!
My church families have been a life saver for sure. I say families because I'm just that blessed. We have multiple churches all over the world praying for us. People that have been an important part of my life stretching from Texas and other sates to England, Poland, Kenya, South Africa, and beyond are praying and standing with us believing for the manifestation of my healing.
My Harvest family has been truly life giving. My church. The church I call home, Harvest Christian Fellowship, is something I as well as hundreds of others are thankful for. The people of Harvest are some the best people in the world. Believe me, I know. I've been to many places and know of many great churches around the world. I would put my church against any of them.
I said in the beginning of this post that I was thankful for life. Well I'm hear to say that the people of Harvest Christian Fellowship emanate life. When you get to know my family at Harvest then you'll experience what I'm talking about. You'll experience what God intended life to be. Love God. Love people. That's simple. That's Harvest. And I'm thankful that we as a church don't make it any more complicated than that.
Most importantly, I'm thankful that I have a great relationship with my Lord and Savior, my healer, my strength, my trust, Jesus. I simply don't have any more words to say besides thank you and I love you.
Wednesday, November 23, 2011
Cancer Center
It was so amazing to be able to go home for a couple of days! I have been sleeping non stop it seems but that's a good thing considering I was in the hospital for 6 days not sleeping much.
Today I'm actually getting another chemo treatment but this time it's in the cancer center here at UMC. It's so much nicer than being in the hospital. I have my own recliner and flat screen TV. There are massage chairs and all sorts of great amenities. So I just come in and get treatment and get to go home again which is really nice.
I have been talking to a couple of doctors and they have confirmed what has been in my own spirit. The next few days are a very crucial time in my healing. Following the first cycle of chemo is when your body has the most potential for break-down so to speak. This is the time when the chemo starts killing everything including white blood cells.
This is what we need everyone to pray for. We need everyone to agree that the chemo would attack the cancer cells and leave my good cells alone. Pray that immune system will stay strong and that it will continue to function normally. If it does what they say it will do, I will be susceptible to infections and sickness. BUT, we believe that God can and will prevent this from happening.
Other than that, I'm really fatigued so pray that I can rest and sleep well and regain my strength.
-Kirby
Today I'm actually getting another chemo treatment but this time it's in the cancer center here at UMC. It's so much nicer than being in the hospital. I have my own recliner and flat screen TV. There are massage chairs and all sorts of great amenities. So I just come in and get treatment and get to go home again which is really nice.
I have been talking to a couple of doctors and they have confirmed what has been in my own spirit. The next few days are a very crucial time in my healing. Following the first cycle of chemo is when your body has the most potential for break-down so to speak. This is the time when the chemo starts killing everything including white blood cells.
This is what we need everyone to pray for. We need everyone to agree that the chemo would attack the cancer cells and leave my good cells alone. Pray that immune system will stay strong and that it will continue to function normally. If it does what they say it will do, I will be susceptible to infections and sickness. BUT, we believe that God can and will prevent this from happening.
Other than that, I'm really fatigued so pray that I can rest and sleep well and regain my strength.
-Kirby
Monday, November 21, 2011
Almost There
So, I'm lying here in a hospital bed on my sixth day of what was supposed to be a five day stay. And I say to myself, "no worries", cause I'm almost there.
I have just a little bit more time to lay here and have these chemicals pumped into my chest. Then, I'll get to finally go home.
I have experienced no side effects from the chemo and I'm extremely thankful for that. In fact, besides not being able to sleep and rest well it's been a surprisingly good stay. The only sickness I have is simply being sick of being in the hospital.
With this stay, though, so much compassion has grown inside of me. I'm tearing up as I write this actually. I will never be able to look at cancer the same. I'll never be able to look at sickness and disease the same.
While I've been here so many people have prayed for me and I can't possibly say thank you enough. But, I want everyone to know that I have already won and victory is already mine.
I have been at total peace since I heard the words "you have cancer," which is truly beyond understanding. I don't know why I have cancer and I don't care. All I know is that I won't let it go to waste. I will use this time to let God work in and through me. I will allow His word to be spoken through my actions and reactions.
While I continue to ask and thank you for your prayers, know that I am praying for the other patients on this hospital floor. I'm praying for the nurses and the doctors. I'm praying that the Peace of God and His healing anointing would be so present in this room and floor that everyone here would be healed of this terrible disease. I am praying that the Kingdom of God would be increased and advanced through me conquering cancer.
I told God from the beginning that I would love a miraculous healing, but that I'm more than willing to fight. In all of this I know that I have my miracle and I'll be a miracle to others.
I think that so often as Christians we hope and pray to escape everything. We just can't believe that we could ever find ourselves in the valley and plead God to save us from our misery.
What I'm learning is that we are called to walk through it all. We are equipped to fight the battles that come our way. Escaping isn't the greatest testimony. Sure, miraculous healing is a great thing. I've witnessed many, even in my own body. For me in this time though, I know that I'm called to stand and fight.
God has given me every tool and weapon I need to win. He has already made the way straight. In His eyes it's already finished and the victory is won. So all this "stuff" I get to endure is just the process and the path that I get to walk through.
Sure it's tough. Yeah it sucks at times. If I said I love having cancer I'd be lying for sure. But, I get a chance to grow and rejoice in suffering. Maybe that's a lesson I learned in my track career but it's true: you get better when you fight through the pain and the suffering. And what's more, when you gain the right perspective, it is no longer pain and suffering. It's just the path to victory.
I have just a little bit more time to lay here and have these chemicals pumped into my chest. Then, I'll get to finally go home.
I have experienced no side effects from the chemo and I'm extremely thankful for that. In fact, besides not being able to sleep and rest well it's been a surprisingly good stay. The only sickness I have is simply being sick of being in the hospital.
With this stay, though, so much compassion has grown inside of me. I'm tearing up as I write this actually. I will never be able to look at cancer the same. I'll never be able to look at sickness and disease the same.
While I've been here so many people have prayed for me and I can't possibly say thank you enough. But, I want everyone to know that I have already won and victory is already mine.
I have been at total peace since I heard the words "you have cancer," which is truly beyond understanding. I don't know why I have cancer and I don't care. All I know is that I won't let it go to waste. I will use this time to let God work in and through me. I will allow His word to be spoken through my actions and reactions.
While I continue to ask and thank you for your prayers, know that I am praying for the other patients on this hospital floor. I'm praying for the nurses and the doctors. I'm praying that the Peace of God and His healing anointing would be so present in this room and floor that everyone here would be healed of this terrible disease. I am praying that the Kingdom of God would be increased and advanced through me conquering cancer.
I told God from the beginning that I would love a miraculous healing, but that I'm more than willing to fight. In all of this I know that I have my miracle and I'll be a miracle to others.
I think that so often as Christians we hope and pray to escape everything. We just can't believe that we could ever find ourselves in the valley and plead God to save us from our misery.
What I'm learning is that we are called to walk through it all. We are equipped to fight the battles that come our way. Escaping isn't the greatest testimony. Sure, miraculous healing is a great thing. I've witnessed many, even in my own body. For me in this time though, I know that I'm called to stand and fight.
God has given me every tool and weapon I need to win. He has already made the way straight. In His eyes it's already finished and the victory is won. So all this "stuff" I get to endure is just the process and the path that I get to walk through.
Sure it's tough. Yeah it sucks at times. If I said I love having cancer I'd be lying for sure. But, I get a chance to grow and rejoice in suffering. Maybe that's a lesson I learned in my track career but it's true: you get better when you fight through the pain and the suffering. And what's more, when you gain the right perspective, it is no longer pain and suffering. It's just the path to victory.
Sunday, November 20, 2011
The Intro
I decided that a blog would be the best way to keep everyone updated on the progress of my healing. As most of you know, on November 7th I had an emergency surgery to remove one of my testicles and then the next day was diagnosed with Stage 3b Non-Seminonma Testicular Cancer.
At first, the numbers showed that the form of cancer I had was extremely aggressive and I was actually being scheduled to start chemotherapy the day of my diagnosis. The doctors were basically saying that based on the numbers they took from my blood levels before my surgery that had I waited another week to go to the doctor that I would have died. They were concerned that the cancer was doubling so fast that it could eat through my lungs through the night.
BUT, God worked a miracle and after another round of tests, the numbers showed a new report and that aggressivness was no longer in the picture.
I was then scheduled to start chemotherapy at a later date. I was admitted to UMC Hospital in Lubbock, TX on November 16th. That day I had a minor surgery to have a port placed in my chest to receive the chemotherapy and began the first of four cycles of chemotherapy on November 17th.
As of today, I have had three rounds of chemo and have experienced no side effects. (Other than being tired from the fact that I have to stay in an uncomfortable hospital bed with people constantly checking on me 24/7).
Continue to pray for my healing and that the chemo will do it's job. That it will kill the cancer and leave everything else alone.
At first, the numbers showed that the form of cancer I had was extremely aggressive and I was actually being scheduled to start chemotherapy the day of my diagnosis. The doctors were basically saying that based on the numbers they took from my blood levels before my surgery that had I waited another week to go to the doctor that I would have died. They were concerned that the cancer was doubling so fast that it could eat through my lungs through the night.
BUT, God worked a miracle and after another round of tests, the numbers showed a new report and that aggressivness was no longer in the picture.
I was then scheduled to start chemotherapy at a later date. I was admitted to UMC Hospital in Lubbock, TX on November 16th. That day I had a minor surgery to have a port placed in my chest to receive the chemotherapy and began the first of four cycles of chemotherapy on November 17th.
As of today, I have had three rounds of chemo and have experienced no side effects. (Other than being tired from the fact that I have to stay in an uncomfortable hospital bed with people constantly checking on me 24/7).
Continue to pray for my healing and that the chemo will do it's job. That it will kill the cancer and leave everything else alone.
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